I loathe that name. I loathe him. I loathe myself.

I look up. All that fighting has only brought me up the stairs, and there is screaming and whispering and shouting and comforting and hurting all tucked away in my brain. My captor shoves me to the ground, and I slowly get up, my hands and everything shaking and hurt and bruised and scratched and hurt.

"You're bleeding," Draco says, looking like he regrets everything.

Good.

"Go fuck yourself," I say crassly, my voice hoarse and dead and scratchy from the fight, like how I want to scratch out the eyes of the man who brought me here.

I avoid the eyes of Dumbledore, who is only somber and incredibly pale, as if the life was sucked out of him. But he doesn't say anything, and he doesn't help me, either.

Maybe it's because I don't deserve help.

Footsteps thunder up the stairs, and Draco is shoved out of the way by four people in black robes. The Order must've lost.

In a roundabout way, I blame myself for that, too.

A lumpy-looking man with an odd lopsided leer gives a wheezy giggle.

"Dumbledore cornered!" he says, and he turns to a stocky, grinning woman, probably his sister. "Dumbledore wandless, Dumbledore alone! Well done, Draco, well done!"

"Good evening, Amycus," Dumbledore says serenely, and I blink. How can he be so calm? "And you've brought Alecto too. . . . Charming . . ."

"Think your little jokes'll help you on your deathbed then?" the woman jeers.

"Jokes? No, no, these are manners," Dumbledore replies.

I want to laugh. Then I remember Susan's corpse, and my dinner wants to come out of my stomach.

The woman, Alecto, then turns to me, unsmiling. "You're the one Draco spoke of, then."

Draco's spoke of me? Why? Does he want me to join the Death Eaters? Because I never will.

"Don't act all confused," she sneers. "Potter's sister."

I flinch. "What about it?"

"You fell in love with a Malfoy," she mocks, almost laughing. I am tempted to spit on her shoes. "And I saw you, girl, punching Rosier." She laughs as the torturer sends her a sharp glare. "You've got guts."

"Everyone has a gut," I say, keeping my face as blank as possible as my hands shake. Rosier. His name is Rosier. "It's how we're able to digest food."

Alecto steps forward, ready to attack, when another Death Eater, heavy and brutal faced, places a hand on her shoulder.

"Stop, Alecto."

She obeys, but sends a chilling glare to me. It's not my fault that she doesn't know how guts work.

"Do it," says the stranger standing nearest to Harry, a big man with grayed hair, whiskers, too tight robes, a rasping bark of voice, and absolutely disgusting fingernails. He is looking at Draco expectantly.

"Is that you, Fenrir?" Dumbledore asks.

I still. Fenrir? As in the werewolf who bit Remus?

"That's right," rasps the other. "Pleased to see me, Dumbledore?"

"No, I cannot say that I am."

"Hah," I mutter.

"Why is she here?" Alecto sneers; the Death Eater next to her jabs her in the gut with his elbow as Rosier glances at me, smirking. I want to kill him.

Greyback grins, ignoring the commotion behind him, pointed teeth and all. Blood trickles down his chin and he licks his lips slowly, obscenely.

Now, I want to retch.

"But you know how much I like kids, Dumbledore."

I take a step away, watching him warily as my stomach drops. What if, because of him, Susan's corpse is on the floor?

The rest is a blur; I am crying now as they bicker and talk and scream and as the others try to reach the top, until ━━━

"They've blocked the stairs ━━━ Reducto! REDUCTO!"

Hope sears through my chest; perhaps if they could get through the staircase, then I could save Susan ...

"Now, Draco, quickly!" the brutal-faced man says angrily.

Malfoy's hand shakes, and I relish in his distaste. But a part of me aches for him, even if I don't want it to. It's horrible, the situation he was put in, but so was the situation he put me in.

"I'll do it," Greyback snarls, moving towards Dumbledore with his hands outstretched, his teeth bared.

I back away, almost screaming. I can't use curses without my wand, and if I use my fists, I'd be up against five Death Eaters. Someone help, please ━━━

"I said no!" the brutal-faced man repeats, basting the furious looking werewolf away. I almost cheer inappropriately, but withhold my voice. Draco won't kill Dumbledore, Dumbledore will defeat the Death Eaters soon enough, and I can save Susan.

Alecto is screeching loudly. "Draco, do it, or stand aside so one of us ━━━"

The door bursts open, and there stands Snape.

I do not trust him one bit, but a small part of me hopes that at least he can defeat the Death Eaters he was once with, that he can maybe save both Dumbledore and I.

"We've got a problem, Snape," Amycus says, not lifting his gaze, which is fixed on Dumbledore. "the boy doesn't seem able ━━━"

Well, obviously.

Dumbledore interrupts my sarcastic thoughts, speaking softly, pleading, as if this is his swan song. Horror clutches my throat. "Severus ..."

Snape is silent, saying nothing as he shoves Malfoy out of the way. I will myself to stand up as the other Death Eaters fall back. No. He cannot be doing what I think he is doing ━━━

Snape gazes at the Headmaster for a moment, disgust etched upon his face.

"Professor Snape," I say, almost meekly.

"Out of the way, girl," he hisses, paying me no mind. He knows how weak I am, how I have no weapon to defend myself with.

Snape raises his wand and points it directly at Dumbledore. I practically scream. Someone hear me. Someone break down the door. Someone save me. Someone save him.

"Avada Kedavra!"

I try to push Dumbledore out of the way, but he pushes me instead.

My mind is numb.

Hitting Dumbledore in the chest, the green light engulfed Dumbledore with Death, almost like a hug, tackling him down the tower and out of sight. My heart aches and twists and screeches as I cry out, almost as if I am dying, as the stars engulf him.

I am so weak and insolent that I couldn't have even stopped this. Tears blur my eyes; I am shaking uncontrollably. Death showed its face again and I couldn't stop it again ━━━

"Join me, Chrys," Draco is saying, quick and fast.

"What?" I practically breathe out, his words clearing my vision and stopping the shaking of my body. After all the bullshit I went through?

I can hear buzzing in my ear, Emmeline's voice saying, "Anne, you will need to step up one day," Remus's laughs as we splash in puddles together, and my cries of pain in my dorm, all because of the boy standing in front of me.

Draco needs to leave; I know it.

Just like I need to leave everything behind.

"We need to go, Draco," Snape is hissing, his eyes looking like slits. How fitting.

I look Draco square in the eye. I had wanted him, once. Now I just feel repulsed at the sight of him, someone even worse than me.

Even if it means letting Snape go, I need to help everyone else first, before it all comes tumbling down.

Unlike Draco, I will atone for my mistakes.

"No," I say strongly. "Never."

He nods, as if he expected it.

"You've changed," he says finally, before turning around, following his professor.

"I know," I whisper, not chasing after him. It's my last present to him. If he shows up in front of me again, I will not hesitate to hurt him. But now, I have no desire for anything, and while I wish to throw him on the ground, I have no means of doing so, no wand to curse him.

I leave the Astronomy Tower a few seconds later, but an invisibility cloak hits my face. As Harry stuns the Death Eater in front of him, I am stunned, too.

He was here the whole time.

We are both running now (I am running beside him, not behind him, for once). He looks at me, somber, and then glances at my broken arm and bruised wrist.

"Did Malfoy ...?"

I sigh as my arm stings in response. "The bruises? Yes. The bone? No."

"I'm sorry, Chrys ━━━"

"No," I say fiercely, looking at him, and then at the front, where Susan's body may be. "Please don't."

He continues, ignoring me. "I didn't know ━━━"

"That doesn't matter," I cut in, glancing at a broad Death Eater dueling a girl, who looks about a year or two younger than me. "So don't blame yourself for something you couldn't stop, alright? Being mad at me is far better." I give Harry a pointed look. "Go. Get your revenge."

Harry blinks at me. "How did you ━━━"

I give him a hint of a smile. "I'm your sister, aren't I?"

He nods, hugging me before taking off. I watch him go, my stomach dropping. I didn't just send him away for his own revenge, but for my own closure.

I spot the bleeding body ahead of me, and I run as fast as I can.

"Susan," I whisper, kneeling in front of her. The fact that I don't have my wand hits me. I can't heal her. She can't die like Dumbledore ━━━

"My wand," she chokes out, and I nod quickly, taking it from her hand.

I shout a few healing spells, and bandages are wrapped around where she is hurt. At first, I immediately relax, before my brain reminds me that spells working, especially for me, is not a common occurrence. Those healing spells don't even even work with my own wand.

But for some reason, they work perfectly fine with Susan's.

"Most of this blood isn't mine," Susan says finally, almost laughing. "There was another body next to mine that some Aurors took away. I hope he's alright."

"So you're ..."

"Not dying anytime soon," she says. She lets out a little laugh, before she winces. "I'm just too tired to get up." She shifts a little. "Your brother's girlfriend was very convincing, by the way, when asking me to help her. She figured it out, about Malfoy. She thinks you're not all bad, Potter. And I agree."

"She knew too?"

"He makes it obvious, doesn't he?"

I press my face to her stomach, trying to stop my tears. "I'm sorry, Susan; I'm sorry ..."

"Don't," she says. "Be strong."

A scream resonates, and I slowly get up, my head still hung, and right above her face. Susan's red lips are set in determination.

"Go," she says, her voice steeling. I admire that about her. I admire it all.

I lift my head up, pushing some strands of her hair behind her ear. "Will you be okay?"

She nods, smiling now. "Go, Potter. Take my wand with you."

So I do.

. . .

Susan's wand works.

It works so much better than my own; all the theory and learning I did in class comes alive, like I wish it did before. I've spent hours trying even one spell, thinking it was all my fault.

Maybe I should stop blaming myself.

Fenrir Greyback is dangerous, but I repel him with all the jinxes I know, my teeth gritting as I dodge and narrowly miss a swipe. He is growling, seething, and I am trying my best not to cower.

There is a girl behind me, scared and scratched all over, and it is because of him. My anger for her is what keeps me moving, breathing.

But my breath is stopped when he knocks me over.

My fingernails dig into my palms after I get back up, and I shout everything, blasts that shatter the items behind him, and spells that should set him on fire.

I eventually stun him, grab the girl, and take off.

We reach a corner, a safe spot before we finally rest.

She collapses in my arms, and I am huffing underneath her. She is shaking, sobbing, and I am still. We are desolate together, mourning for all our losses as I rub circles on her back, my eyes gazing far away.

"Thank you for saving me," she says, wiping her tears as she gets up. "What's your name?"

I open my mouth, preparing to say, "Chrys."

But then I pause. This is a new beginning, a new life. Past Draco, past everything old, past all my mistakes. I let it all drift in the wind, far away. I don't need anyone's validation anymore; I don't need to be different anymore.

I will never be that pathetic again. Never again.

I square my shoulders, giving her a determined look.

"My name is Anne Potter."

END OF PART ONE.